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A group of kids sit around a table at a child's birthday party
That's what happened here, though. This parent wanted a little compensation for their child's dress, and they wanted it to come from who they thought was responsible. When you're a parent throwing your kid a party, you assume a little bit of responsibility. The other kids that attend, whether you mean them to be or not, are partially your responsibility. But does that mean paying for something that gets ruined, even if it wasn't your fault? The parent in this story was struggling with that, and wondered what she could do about it.
It's not always easy to deal with other parents. Just because you have the way you prefer to do things doesn't mean that everyone else is going to agree with you. And when you run into someone with a differing parenting style, this can cause some amount of conflict. You probably want to keep the peace between all parties involved, but this is easier said than done. Some people can simply be unreasonable, and you might find yourself distancing from them because of this. It's okay to set boundaries, and not everyone has to play a huge role in your life. That's what this parent was figuring out in the aftermath of her child's birthday. It was a success in so many regards, and she wanted to focus on that. But one parent was making that pretty difficult. Keep reading to see what they had to say about the ordeal.
Am I in the wrong for not wanting to pay for this little girl’s dress?
A couple weeks ago, I threw my daughter a tea party for her 7th birthday at a small local play place with about 18 of her friends. The invitation stated to bring their dolls and stuffed animals as honored guests and that there would be a toy painting activity as well.
The owner of the play place is a super lovely mom who was absolutely amazing and handled everything for me so I could be stress free and enjoy the party. I was a little concerned about the paint getting everywhere but she told me it should come out easily if anything got stained.
One guest’s mom was away on a trip and asked if her 80 year old father could bring her kindergarten aged daughter. I said “Absolutely! No problem!” I didn’t think anything of it.
Six days later, the mom contacted me upset that her daughter’s expensive dress was stained and ruined by the paint from the party.
A girl uses a pink paint brush at a party
When I pointed out that painting was on the invitation, she said the host or business owner should be responsible and the kids should have worn smocks. I understand wishing there had been smocks but also if she already knew that there would be painting why would she let her 5 year old wear an expensive dress?
So then, this mom ends up contacting the owner and demanded that she pay for the dress that was ruined!!! Like WHAT?! I’m just shocked by the audacity of this woman! The poor sweet owner ended up offering to pay her 50%. We live in a small town and the owner doesn’t want any more drama. But the owner messaged me and warned me that this mom said she would ask me to pay for the other half of this dress.
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
A group of kids play with craft materials at a party
For context, I barely know this mom. Our daughters are just playground friends and our kids also play on local sports teams together so I invited them out of polite courtesy. If I had known she was like this I would have ripped up her invitation. Now its’s going to be so awkward seeing her at games.
I feel bad about the dress and that the helpful owner is paying. But does sending a child to an advertised painting activity in an expensive outfit make the host responsible for replacing it? Would I be unreasonable to decline if she asks?
Image depicted solely for explanatory purposes.
A group of children sit around with paint and craft supplies
NTA, the invitation literally said there would be painting. Sending a five-year-old in an expensive dress was her decision, not yours. The owner was already generous offering 50%. I wouldn't pay a dime.
Have you seen the ruined dress. Because she might be trying her luck if these were wash out paints.
Maybe offer to clean the dress. But I suspect she wants the money (and let me guess, its an expensive dress).
NTA, but I would tell the business owner not to pay her and I would pay for the entire dress myself. I wouldn’t want a small business owner to have that burden. I would also make it clear to that mother that you were only paying her to help the business owner and that she should be embarrassed by her behavior.
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